Basically, if it's not you, it wants to kill you, and just might succeed. . Anna: [to Louise] How can you be so blind with eyes that big?! 15. And, you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. Albert: [At target practice] I fired a gun at the shooting gallery. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. When she sees me, she'll be intimidated as f***. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. No better way to make your ex-girlfriend want you back more than to let her see you with another girl. As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. All Rights Reserved. If You've Only Got a Moustache. As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put . There was a sheep in the whorehouse the last week. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack "Don't go snackin' if you been tobaccin'.". In Seth MacFarlanes A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the films best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny Mustache Song., I do always feel like everything that I do should have some sort of musical component, MacFarlane told EW. Not only did he adapt a song from the period, but he also hired a veteran choreographer and an army of Broadway dancers for the sequence. Given his knack for singing the guy truly is multi-talented MacFarlane might have done better with following the musical comedy example of Paint Your Wagon rather than the slapstick of Mel Brooks for his western swing. By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am. expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Toronto Anyone can read Conversations, but to contribute, you should be a registered Torstar account holder. Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. PREVIEW. Opens Friday at major theatres 14A. Albert: Okay, that's Bridget, all right? 2014 Back Lot Music. The film features an ensemble cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman and Liam Neeson. Albert: Yeah, I saw that. Watch A Million Ways to Die in the West | Netflix A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014) - IMDb But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. Terms and Policies Albert: She moved to town a couple of years ago to take over the schoolmarm job. Well, it was still good though. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is a moronic 2. Edward: Please don't shoot us on sex night. Stream songs including "A Million Ways To Die", "Main Title" and more. If MacFarlane had spent as much time crafting jokes as he did writing the lyrics for the amusing title tune (sung by country ace Alan Jackson) and the catchy mid-film number The Mustache Song, A Million Ways to Die in the West would have been a much better movie. this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines. Old Stump Bluegrass. Edward: Albert, he's dead. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly . [leaves]. 1882. 1 May 2023. rights reserved. Ruth: Oh yeah, it's this, its like from here to here. His running gag about how people never smile in old-fashioned photographs might have seemed hilarious on paper but it certainly isnt on the screen. 2 likes. A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes On the other hand, Albert also has to find the gunslinging skill in order to battle Louise's new boyfriend - the cocky and wealthy Foy (Neil Patrick Harris) - in a shootout in front of the entire town. Albert: Oh my god, please! At a recent press conference held in Los . I'm about to shoot a full load at your cans. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Sh**ty Showdown, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - If You've Only Got a Moustache, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - You Really Do Have a Death Wish. PREVIEW. Copyright 2023 I look like I have Parkinson's next to him. We follow the life of Albert Stark (Seth MacFarlane), an incompetent and inept sheep farmer whose girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) breaks up with him because of his glaring lack of courage and skill. 1, Independence Day: Resurgence (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Hail, Caesar! Here are your picks for the Best of the Capital Region 2023 The film was number three at the box office during its opening weekend and grossed over $87 million worldwide against a budget of $40 million. Anna and Albert. There is a post-credits sequence involving the gunman at the fair from the final scene. Anna: Yeah, but those are quarter loads. Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. The film was released on May 30, 2014, in the United States, and distributed worldwide by Universal Pictures. He followed up Ted with 2014's A Million Ways to Die in the West, a spoof of westerns pointing out just how bleak and unromantic life in the Old West would've been. Albert: "The American west is a terrible place and time. One of A Million Ways to Die in the West is to give away all your jokes in the promos leading up to your film's debut. Anna: I'm a little cocky. See production, box office & company info. A Million Ways to Die in the West - Goodreads Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. Internet Service Terms A Million Ways to Die in the West / Trivia - TV Tropes With Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Liam Neeson. It was released on DVD and Blu-ray on October 7, 2014, and earned more than $15 million in home media sales. Albert: You know what else can kill you? Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. Hell, this was Miss America in 1880 [picture of a leathery middle-aged woman] . A Million Ways to Die in the West rides into theaters . Albert cant abide the mindless brutality, appalling hygiene and constant danger of life in Old Stump, the tumbleweed town he reluctantly calls home: Everything out here thats not you wants to kill you.. Albert: Okay, all right, get ready. A Million Ways to Die in the West | Fandango Entertainment Weekly may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. After Seth MacFarlane's directorial debut Ted became one of the highest-grossing comedies ever made, he pretty much had the freedom to do whatever he wanted for his second movie. Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Tries To Teach Albert How To Shoot, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Foy Mocks Albert On Their Way To The Shooting Gallery, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Meets Albert At The Dance. Doc Brown: Nothing. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. A Million Ways to Die in the West - CD | Barnes & Noble Everything out here that's not you wants to kill you, angry drunk people, hungry animals, outlaws, the doctor." Albert gives a breakdown of just a few of the million ways to die in the West. I suck at dancing. May 29, 2014. 2014 | Maturity rating: 16+ | 1h 55m | Comedies. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. Entertainment Weekly is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy Like, My God, you put all this work and all this time and all this artistry into a song about sperm?'. There is an unrated, Extended Cut available, approximately 20 minutes longer. If you can get a song in there, its just a nice Hollywood tradition.. Doctors! He shows impeccable taste in how his movie looks (his DOP Michael Barrett makes Monument Valley a locale to die for) and also how it sounds. Edward: Man, I see kids everywhere with those stock hoops lately. But I got great tits. And, uh, wild animals. Check out the interactive photo below for more details on the scene. Comedy, Romance, Western. Our old schoolmarm got her throat slit by a fast moving tumbleweed. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. WARNING: The rest of this article contains minor spoilers for A Million Ways To Die In The West.If you haven't seen the film, read on at your own risk! Quotes.net. Depressed and discouraged by how his life is full of disappointment and how every instance of love is then destroyed and robbed from him, Albert finds comfort in Anna (Charlize Theron), a newcomer to his small village. 27 May 2014 When the rivalry leads to a duel, he gets help from an unexpected, beautiful source. 116 minutes. Ruth: But this is just the outside, there's these folds. Seth MacFarlane gets wild in new Western 'Million Ways to Die' Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Jurassic Park Movies Ranked By Tomatometer, RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes, Weekend Box Office Results: Super Mario Joins the Billion-Dollar Club. Chinese Date: How should I know? Anna: I mean we're basically splitting this country 50/50 with them. MacFARLANE: It always depends on the gag, more than the person. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes - Goodreads Well, did he at least hear all the smart things I said? All He knows how to make people laugh, as demonstrated in his Family Guy TV series, his movie smash Ted and in sporadic moments of his gig hosting the Oscars last year. A Million Waysto Die in the West is a gross-out Gunsmoke, with MacFarlane directing an old-timey facsimile of his modern self in the lead role of Albert, a cowardly sheep herder in the Arizona of 1882. As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. McNeely bases his playful and robust score on classic silver screen-era Westerns, offering up a pastiche that's both reverent and self-aware, while the theme song, which is performed by Alan Jackson, and "If You've Only Got a Mustache," the latter of which is performed by Grammy-nominated American tenor Amick Byram, are as goofy as they are . 33%. In Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the film's best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny "Mustache . Copyright 2023 Meredith Corporation. He gets no comfort or love from his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried), who breaks his heart by dumping him for moustachioed playboy Foy (the reliably funny Neil Patrick Harris). As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. Albert: The guy is one of the best shots around. Amick Byram. As US heat waves worsen and intensify, older people become increasingly He was Methodist, I'm half Jewish. Seth MacFarlane, Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West: A Novel. Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action. A 2021 study estimated more than a third of U.S. heat deaths each year can be attributed to human-caused global warming. A Million Ways to Die in the West is a 2014 American western comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane, who wrote the screenplay with Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - He Drank the Whole Bowl! All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. The film follows Albert Stark (MacFarlane) who feels certain that the western frontier is trying to kill him while coping from his break-up with his girlfriend. It's like they lose the power to innovate because they're staring at the stick hoop all day. All rights reserved. Its justits a song about sperm, and yet they treat it with such legitimacy in their orchestration and their vocal performance and their choreography, and its this huge number with what looks to be over 100 dancers on screen. This is MacFarlanes first live-action lead role (he voiced the potty-mouthed bear in Ted) and for my money hes simply not great at being the leading man, coming off as more obnoxious than straight-up funny. A Million Ways to Die in the West. When she shoots, short cuts to the gallery show 10 targets, but 12 shots are heard and Anna wins the prize for perfect score. Edward: Yeah. Vulgar -- yes, but just not funny. 17+. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. September 9, 2014 A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - That's a Dollar Bill! Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. A Million Ways to Die in the West - Rotten Tomatoes Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. And then, for a good reason, Albert gets dumped by his charming girlfriend, Louise, only to fall head over heels in love with the intriguingly mysterious, horse-riding and pistol-packing stranger, Anna. Inspiration for the Work: The film originated as an inside joke between Seth MacFarlane and co-writers Alec Sulkin and Wesley Wild while they were watching Hang 'Em High. After his directorial debut Ted was widely praised by critics and became one of the highest-grossing R-rated comedies ever made, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane had the freedom to do whatever he wanted with . 18 Songs, 41 minutes What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. However, a pistol-packing woman named Anna (Theron) rides into town and helps Albert find his inner courage. Web. These are full loads. Although she states otherwise, the shoot-out is arguably the last straw for Louise, Albert's vain girlfriend, who breaks up with him. I don't wanna put myself through that kind of f***ing aggravation. https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_110222, A Million Ways to Die in the West Screenplay, A Million Ways to Die in the West's quotes, https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_quotes_110222. 2014 Universal Studios. Copyright 2023 Halle Bailey, Melissa McCarthy, and director Rob Marshall share the tale behind making their underwater musical with a groundbreaking Disney princess. MacFarlane deserve some credit for allowing Theron to upstage him, sometimes just with a knowing look. The movies best lines are typically one-liners that rarely come from the lips of MacFarlane, who frequently oversells a joke when he isnt merely spouting obscenities. Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Link to Asian-American Pacific Islander Heritage, Link to RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes. Directed by Seth MacFarlane. And, you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. Ditto the overdone sideshow of Sarah Silvermans energetic town prostitute bonding with Giovanni Ribisis bible-thumping virginal shoemaker. Louise was right, I can't keep track of them. Hear Seth MacFarlane's 'A Million Ways to Die in the West' theme song I never see him. She neglects to tell him that shes married to the outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), an infamous and jealous gunslinger who regularly contributes to that million-ways body count. Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. George Stark: [Farts] That came out of my penis! The one where EW follows up with the cast. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights And, uh, wild animals. Louise: You're not even a good sheep farmer, Albert. To order This was the American frontier in 1882, a hard land for hard folk. Edward: Okay, i'm gonna close the bible now. The 50 greatest TV and movie detectives of all time. It starts from a clever brain that ceased emotional development at age 12 and winds its way through to the orifice that emits the rudest noises and effluence. Is it possible to overthink moronic humour? Amick Byram. What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? Joel McNeely composed the score and Media Rights Capital, Fuzzy Door Productions, and Bluegrass Films produced the film. permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. This copy is for your personal non-commercial use only. Anna: I don't think you should leave tomorrow. I suck at sheep. It won't be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west. Millie: You're okay with your girlfriend screwing, like, 15 different guys every day and getting paid to do it? Wandered in there, and then when I went to pick it up, somehow it had made 20 dollars. Old Stump Bluegrass . As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. This is the curious thing about MacFarlane. At least stay through the weekend. Albert: I know. Vulgar, crude, self-referential, and irreverent, A Million Ways to Die in the West is a typical Seth MacFarlane comedy. Barn Dance Comedian: I tell you, folks, this telegraph machine, that thing is nuts. "A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes." Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! Apple Inc. When a sheep herder who hates the West saves a young lady . All A Million Ways to Die in the West Videos A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1 2:30 Added: January 19, 2017 A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die 2:24 Added . If You've Only Got a Moustache. Anna and Albert. By creating an account, you agree to the Seth MacFarlane's western spoof A Million Ways to Die in the West includes nods to such genre classics as The Searchers and Unforgiven. Albert: [Before drinking from the bowl with the indian tribe] "Mila Kunis" - subtitled as "Fine".